When someone asks you to do something, do you feel guilty if you say no? Why do you feel that way? You know that no one but you actually knows what is right for you. You may have been told a certain way to act and think was the only correct way to live. Yet, no one has been living your life and actually knows your thoughts, so no one has the right to tell you what is right for you.

If you feel guilty when you say NO, it is because you ALLOW the other person to lay a trip on you. Yes, that is why most of us feel guilty! When will we learn to no longer fear condemnation from others, to know that we do not and cannot please others? You may think that you can actually please others, but can you? We know no one else can make us happy, and if that is the case, how can we make someone else happy? So there is no reason to worry that others will condemn you.

Remember, just because someone else says you should do something, it is not your obligation to do it. You do NOT have any obligation to any other living person above the obligations you have to yourself! You first must find real happiness within yourself before you are able to take on more responsibility.

When someone asks you to do something that will only please them - REFUSE it! Because when you try to do something from which you will not gain any happiness, to please someone else, then you will find that you will resent doing it. When you cannot do something out of love, then by doing it you will suffer. Remember the carrots! I realize that many of you have taken on certain responsibilities, such as marriage. You have committed yourself to do certain things, but when that arrangement becomes a burden then you had better take a new look at it. We as humans want so much to help others that we put ourselves into real boxes. When someone asks you to do something you should think it through carefully and DON'T attempt anything that you aren't sure that you can complete. When you start something and can't finish it, you will feel guilty. So be careful about what you accept. We should be careful to look any situation over completely, seeing not just how much work there is now, but how much work it can become. As the old saying goes, "look before you leap." Look ahead as far as you can see and imagine.

You should always think ahead. You know trouble grows quickly and silently. Have you ever known trouble that has just gone away by itself? It gets worse, doesn't it? So before you take on more responsibility, think ahead, BEFORE you accept it.

When someone asks you to do something, have that inner wisdom to see where it will lead you. You know you may be getting yourself into a real box, and it would be better to say no now than to wait until you are in the box. So think through any request to see where it may lead. If it will end up being a type of job you will not want to be involved in, then have the courage to say no, now. Remember that no one is responsible for what you accept but yourself. Only you can avoid trouble for you.

Many of us find ourselves in a situation, which is bad now. If that is your case, then make plans to get out of it NOW. WHY? Because it will get worse. You would be much better off out of a job, divorced or whatever than to continue in your problem. Believe me, when you are in an unbearable situation, it will get worse. You know that everyone has his saturation point. A glass can only hold so much water. So it is with each of us. If your situation is unbearable, get out of it NOW!

In summary, remember that you are the only person responsible for you. You now have learned the wisdom of refusing some requests, because you see them in a new light. It is not what the request is today, but where it will lead you to tomorrow.